On Sunday, I took a critical look at my own prayer life and recognized some dangerous trends. Tongue planted firmly in cheek, I have created a system for managing relationships and prayer requests.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Form 6431PR: "Prayer Request for Individuals Desiring Intercession on Behalf of Themselves or One Other Individual."
It's revolutionary. The message is relentless efficiency through callous indifference!
Prayer requests now have a standard format - the days of trying to remember a friends' concerns voice in conversation, e-mail, text message, etc. are past! The form is machine-readable, and in fact, once we get ahold of God's e-mail address, machine-prayable. It's a familiar form, too; in fact, anyone who has filled out a 1040 will pick it up in no time at all (and anyone who hasn't is probably too far gone!).
It ensures that those with the most "spiritual capital" get the most prayer, but also enables one to process a greater volume of prayer requests. The system discourages people from asking friends to pray for minor matters, but also penalizes those whose requests require significant emotional attachment.
Form 6431PR frees Christians from the messiness of human relationships.
Look for some serious thoughts on Friday. Until then, what do you think of this? How does it rub you? Might it resonate a bit?
Comments (3)
Hmmmmm somehow unpersonal but a useful tool for those of us with 15sec short term memories or write things down and forget to lok at the day planner.... i.e. ME :) Actually I'm not surprised some churches don't use this since many fail in human relationship.
Posted by The Krow | October 12, 2006 7:47 AM
Posted on October 12, 2006 07:47
What a delightful gag, Scott! hahaha
Posted by Brandon | October 12, 2006 12:34 PM
Posted on October 12, 2006 12:34
Scott,
Just wanted to let you know I stopped by (and let you know I saw your brilliant Form 6431PR). Yes, unfortunately, it does resonate a bit. I am too quick to make excuses for having an impersonal prayer life rather than admit that, all too often, it is just my own selfish aversion to getting my spiritual hands dirty.
Posted by Earl | December 1, 2006 8:06 PM
Posted on December 1, 2006 20:06